I am so tired of this.
The new EHRC guidance is finally in force. Sex means biological sex. Single-sex spaces are supposed to mean single-sex spaces. And yet several NHS trusts are still allowing biological men who identify as women to use the women’s staff toilets and changing rooms. They are dragging their feet, issuing temporary policies, or flat-out refusing to implement the law properly. Female staff are being told to put up with it for the sake of “inclusion.”
I disagree with this so strongly I can feel it in my teeth.
Some people have genuine body dysmorphia. That is not in question. There are individuals who experience deep, persistent distress about their sexed body and deserve compassion and proper mental health support. I am not talking about those people. I am talking about the pattern that is impossible to ignore once you look at the numbers and the behaviour.
The Numbers Do Not Lie
Look at the data. In older clinical studies across multiple countries, the ratio of male-to-female transgender identification was consistently higher than female-to-male, often in the region of 2:1 or 3:1, and sometimes higher. Men identifying as women outnumbered women identifying as men, sometimes significantly. In the UK Census 2021 the self-reported figures came out closer to equal (around 48,000 people identifying as trans women and 18,000 as trans men), but that includes a large group who simply said their gender identity was different without specifying, and it still does not erase the historical clinical skew or the very different patterns of demand around spaces.
You would expect the numbers to be roughly level if this was purely a symmetrical phenomenon. They are not. That disparity tells us something is going on beyond “some people are born in the wrong body.” When one direction of transition produces far more aggressive demands for access to the opposite sex’s private spaces, it is reasonable to ask why.
I do not see women who identify as men kicking up a public fuss to get into men’s toilets and changing rooms. I do not see them insisting that male staff must accept them in the gents or be labelled bigots. The pressure, the lawsuits, the institutional capture, the demands for validation, the peacocking, it is overwhelmingly coming from the male-to-female direction. If you are a woman who has transitioned and you are just getting on with your life without trying to force your way into male spaces, I have no quarrel with you. Message me privately if you want. Tell me what it is actually like. Because from where I am standing, the loudest, most entitled voices are almost entirely one way.
Male Loneliness and the Protected Category Hack
I have a male friend. I will not name him because I am not allowed to. He said something recently that stuck with me. Being a man is mind-crushingly lonely. People do not talk to you. Women do not talk to you unless they are drunk or they want something very specific. I am guilty of this myself. When I was allowed to summon him, it was usually because I wanted something. Looking back, I do kind of regret it. He’s a nice bloke. We do still talk, but honestly, I have no reason to talk to him now. And that’s the reality guys live with. That is the reality for a lot of ordinary men. No soft landing. No institutional sympathy. No protected characteristic that makes people afraid to ignore you.
So what is the cure for that kind of isolation in a culture that has decided men are the problem? Become a woman. Better yet, become a trans woman, a protected species. Suddenly ignoring you is transphobic. Questioning you is violence. Institutions will rewrite their policies around your feelings. You get access to spaces, language, and moral high ground that ordinary men will never be given. That is a powerful incentive. It does not mean every single person is faking. It does mean the social rewards are heavily skewed in one direction, and humans respond to incentives.
I think in most of the loud, demanding cases we are looking at either a psychological hack or a kink. A very small number are genuine and you can usually tell because they just get on with their lives. They do not need the rest of us to clap, rewrite reality, or surrender single-sex spaces. The ones making the most noise are often the ones who seem to enjoy the power and the attention that comes with forcing everyone else to play along.
Women’s Rights Are Not Optional
Call me a TERF. I do not give a shit. Women’s rights to privacy, dignity and safety in toilets, changing rooms and other single-sex spaces are being eroded by men in wigs and the institutions too cowardly to say no to them. Female NHS staff should not have to share intimate facilities with biological males because those males have adopted a female identity. That is not inclusion. That is the prioritisation of one group’s feelings over another group’s material reality.
What are we doing here? We have the NHS saying men, with cocks and a wig, are women? Biological women at that. And you want to test me for breast cancer and give me open heart surgery. How about no! I no longer trust you. You’ve been an absolute dumpster fire since covid. You can’t get doctors appointments, most nurses look at you like you’re ruining their day just existing near them.
The Supreme Court was clear. The EHRC guidance is clear. Sex means biological sex. Yet parts of the NHS are still acting as if the law is optional. That is a choice. It is a choice that tells every female member of staff that their boundaries matter less than a male colleague’s self-identification. I am done being polite about this.
Genuine dysphoria deserves serious, evidence-based care. It does not require the rest of us to abandon the concept of sex-based rights. Most of the institutional energy right now is not going into careful, compassionate treatment of the genuinely distressed. It is going into compelled speech, policy capture, and the steady dismantling of single-sex provisions that women fought for.
I am not interested in being kind to the people who are using a mental health condition, or a fetish, or a social trend, as a route to override women’s boundaries. Compassion is not the same as compliance. And I am finished pretending that questioning this makes me the villain.
NHS, what the hell are you doing? The law is settled. Women’s rights are not a negotiation. Stop treating them like they are.