I’m heading home early. It’s not because something went wrong, or because I’m trying to escape anything in particular. I’m going home mainly because the list of things I miss has finally outgrown the reasons to stay here. It’s been building up for weeks, slowly at first, then all at once. I kept convincing myself…
It came up in the livestream the other night and half the comments were the usual soft, Instagram-friendly bollocks. “Just focus on yourself.” “Time heals all wounds.” “Journal and go to therapy.” Lovely. Really helpful when you’re lying in bed at 3 a.m. wondering why you weren’t enough and whether he’s already shagging someone else….
I clocked it at twelve. Proper clocked it. Standing in the kitchen of our maisonette on the estate, school skirt still on, listening to my mate’s older brother tell her she was “getting a bit mouthy lately” while he leaned on the fridge like he owned the place. She laughed it off. I didn’t. Something…
Last night I was in a bad place. Loneliness had settled in like damp, mixed with too much cheap wine and the kind of quiet that makes your own thoughts feel too loud. I decided to call a friend. Simon, it’s been a while. It was for nothing more than a chat. That is all…
I don’t understand it. I really don’t. You sleep with a man, it’s good, sometimes it’s even great (Rare as Duck Cake), and then he just… vanishes. Not even a slow fade. Just gone. Like he woke up the next morning, looked at you sleeping next to him, and immediately started calculating how fast he…